I'm looking out over the sun-soaked, iridescent coast of Thailand's Phranang beach - world famous for emerald water and mystical islands that seem to float in midair. At once I feel wildly inspired yet completely overwhelmed. Real life will come crashing back in just a few short days, when I board a plane and fly home. Yet home is not a bad thing at all, and I desperately miss my fiance - in a perfect world he would be here, enjoying the view with me. Someday we'll make our own adventures, but for now I am content spending sweet days with my family.
The three of us have spent the past week practically living in the water, swimming from ocean to pool and back again. We took a boat out to snorkel around the lagoons of the Phi Phi islands and watched the fiery sun sink with our feet dangling above the waves.
This trip was the perfect start to 2016. This year will be one of the busiest of my life, and I'm glad to be escaping schedules for a while. Being here makes me feel like I can do anything, be anything, accomplish whatever I will. Without access to my usual tools, my hands are itching to create again. It feels amazing.
I didn't make any New Years resolutions this year. After making ten last year, I felt entitled to a break. Instead of changing habits and making a plan to get there, I'm focusing on shifting attitudes. To enjoy life as it happens, especially this year as I marry Ryan. There is still so much we have to learn about ourselves and each other, and I want to be present for those moments. Floating in dreamy pools of turquoise makes you pensive, I suppose.
Yet while I feel empowered and inspired, I also feel small. I am just one drop in this vast ocean. My voice makes no difference, why do I use it? There are too many people I want to be, I cannot be them all. So this is what it's like to be in your twenties.
But I think if there was only one drop, there would be no ocean. We need thousands of voices together to make a wave.