This morning I stumbled upon a quote that made me laugh out loud - not because it was actually funny, but because it perfectly captured how I was feeling at that very moment.
"The soul and the schedule don't follow the same rules."
Uh, darn right they don't?
This morning. I woke up at 8:30 to my alarm, Sleep-Brain decided it was Saturday and did NOT want to wake up at that time, and next thing I knew it was 11 and I was rolling out of bed to go make coffee that now probably had to be iced since the day was already so hot.
So I made coffee, only to discover that I was out of creamer - I'm not at the point where I can drink coffee black yet (no shame) so I dumped it down the drain in a fit and went back and sat in my bed. I called R and complained that my schedule for the day was all screwed up. Even my coffee routine was not going well.
The schedule I made last night dictated that I needed to get up at 8:30, go for a run, drink green juice, obtain the perfect body. Go to the coffee shop, get work done, act hip, look productive. Go to the store, buy healthy food, make a fruit thing seen on Pinterest and Instagram it, because summer.
Someday I'll stop chasing these things.
As I write this, I'm still in bed - I have yet to eat anything and I'm starving. I don't have any food, or creamer, because I moved two weeks ago and still haven't been to the grocery store. I finally remembered I had an iced coffee Keurig pod stashed in my work bag that had sugar mixed in so I could make that sans creamer issues- which my Chemex loving roommate would probably scoff at.
But I am realizing that my soul needed something else today. Sometimes my soul (and body attached) need to sleep in, to sit at the table while I wonder how to solve my no creamer problems and drink in some sunshine instead of coffee.
I've been wondering lately if I truly believe that even small moments are orchestrated by the Creator. (as an aside, that's my current favorite name for Him). What if the most minute of circumstance change made something else possible, or prevented something potentially catastrophic? What would have happened if I had stuck to the schedule? How would my heart and soul feel today? Would I feel accomplished - or defeated?
I choose today to embrace both schedule and soul - to care for my soul gently while still being responsible and productive. There again the balance hangs. The smallest lessons make the journey, don't forget that.